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Chapter 26:
(Third POV)
A warm feeling fills her heart, as if she’s immersed in lukewarm water for a long time, or as if she’s lazing under the pleasant sunlight. It is such a feeling.
Spica Velvet gazes blankly at the back of the man in front of her. Then, she looks down at her own body.
She wore comfortable and new clothes.
At the time of purchase, she remembers what has Sun-kun said,
"It's one of my minimum responsibilities as the person to buy this to Spica. In fact, Spica should be more selfish.”
When she thinks about it, Sun-kun's smile surfaces in her mind.
Perhaps he is trying to make me feel less self-conscious. As Spica thinks about it, an impossibly strong feeling takes over her body.
The color of her dress is black, and it is as thick as sludge. It is the color of ugly self-loathing.
“...I’m hiding something from you.”
She lets out a mutter. Her words gradually disperse in the crowd in the street.
He is a good human. She knows that, but that's why all she can do is breathe out a sigh.
The more they get to know each other, it’s harder ...to talk. She wants to open up with him, but she doesn't know how to do that.
These feelings continue to swell and grow until they almost crush her heart.
She knows that he will listen to her.
...But still, some part of her is helplessly afraid that he will reject her.
...It's okay if he just rejects me... But what if Sun-kun changes suddenly? What will I do if he ends up like the humans who attacked my village?
What if? What if?
My body trembles a little as the thought of what might happen.
...Why don't I just put my trust in Sun-kun's kindness and let myself go away the easy way?
Spica whispers to herself.
She decided to give her thanks. After all, she owes him a favor. If not, it betrays everything she has been taught for her whole life.
Spica stops in her tracks.
She bites her lip tightly and shuts her eyes.
“...What's wrong? Ah, You have been to a lot of human places, I guess you got tired.”
I easily notice Spica's strange behavior.
Oddly, she shook her head through her hood to convey her denial.
Watching that, Sun-kun glances up at the sky as if he is thinking about something.
“...I see. Well, when I came here before, I found a place where people don't seem to come. It's a bit of a walk, but let's go there."
As soon as he says that, Sun-kun walks into the gap between the stores and starts to walk. The streets are strangely empty, and she realizes that he is very good at finding places that are a little off the beaten path.
Sun-kun's back is somewhat unreal as he flips his gray cloak and walks through the gray stone streets.
"Onii-san, You're not very reliable, are you?"
A memory crosses her mind.
She remembered what Jaco-chan had said to her. It’s a conversation we had while Sun-kun was at the drinking place.
When Spica let out a snort of denial and complaint, Jaco-chan hurried to deny it.
"It's like he is flying off the handle, or he is not on the ground. That's what I meant! When I first saw him, I thought he looked lonely.”
...It's an analogy that doesn't quite fit. But still, Jaco-chan seems to not be joking. She nodded her head exaggeratedly and said more.
"But when I met him again with Spica-chan, he seemed to have calmed down a bit. When I saw that, I knew he was going to be okay."
She smiled, pointed her finger at Spica, and said, "That's right! He has a pretty girl with him, he needs to calm down a bit!”
...But then Spica-chan seems to be complicated in many ways.
She patted me on her shoulder.
"I know he is trying not to show it to the lady, but that kind of thing is totally obvious from the outside… That’s right “
Jaco-chan pinned up her index finger and twirled his fingertip around, seemingly putting the words together.
"Spica-chan, why don't you seduce him?"
"Nah."
What are you saying all of a sudden, you fox-ear?
Jaco-chan looked pleased that she had said what she needed to say and nodded.
...After this, we went off on more and more miscellaneous conversations.
When I heard those words, I wondered what he thought about me. Should I deny that I couldn't burden him anymore, since I was causing him so much trouble? Or should I try to accept it? It’s as if I’m trying to estimate the emotions of another person, even though it happened only a day ago.
So much had happened in just one day. When I was looking outside by myself after Sun-kun had left, I saw him running outside. After that, we both climbed on the roof.
...I didn't mean to do that. I lean on him, trying to act like a spoiled child.
As she looked at Sun-kun's face, she couldn't stop herself from revealing the feelings she had been thinking.
That's when it started.
Even though it was her own feelings, she couldn't calm her emotions.
I want to rely on him. I’m scared. I want to be heard. I don't want to say it. Everything is jumbled up and screaming inside my heart. ...It hurts.
Sun-kun, who is walking ahead, looks back. When his eyes met Spica's, he gave a small smile.
...She feels a rush of emotion in her heat. This is the first time that she has ever seen such a thing.
It was a cruel emotion for Spica right now, as it makes her want to cry.
It instantly erases the black feelings drifting through Spica's chest and fills her with a cozy sense of relief.
The hood no longer hides her face.
And then, just a little further down the road.
A small dead fountain stands between a metal fence with red rust and a half-collapsed ruin.
Beside it is an old bench covered with leaves.
Sun-kun brushes away the leaves with his hand and motions for Spica to sit down. The look in his eyes is as gentle as can be.
- Translator: Heartless
what good buildup to force her to confront him in spite of the insecurities she can only solve by that confrontation
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